ImageBlue eyed dreamy doctor chases unsuspecting girl… girl takes notice… blue eyed dreamy doctor loses interest. This was my first introduction to being single at 25 after having only been in one relationship before that – a high school one that lasted 8 years.

Blue dreamy doctor aside, guys losing interest after the chase seem to be a rather frequently occurring conundrum us women face.

No doubt the delicate dance of dating has been further complicated with the mobiles and social media– it really can be a serious waste of our energy.

It’s no wonder I accomplished so much whilst in a comfortable relationship – good career progression, property investments, volunteering, travel and so on; all before the tender age of 25. But I had an upper hand, unlike my girlfriends I wasn’t in the dating scene wasting time worrying about when he was next going to text or why he hadn’t called.

Now that I am, I am quickly learning the importance of ensuring I don’t fall into the trap of wasting needless energy on guys– because it is certainly in our nature to do so. Habits to form/ I’m forming:

1.Listen to the little voice inside you that commands respect.
If you feel you have been initiating all the calls and texts and want him to call or text but he doesn’t, then leave it. Don’t compromise your decision and don’t come up with excuses for him. Damn we girls are good at that.

2. Don’t stare blankly at your phone.
No matter how hard you stare at it, it won’t change whether or not it will ring my friend. Learn to live without your phone a little. Form the habit of caring less about your phone. I personally can’t stand people glancing at their phone all the time when I’m hanging with them, and I certainly have formed the habit of never doing so. If I’m out with friends they have my full attention, my phone comes second not vice versa.

3. Transfer that nervous energy into something useful.
The time you spend thinking about him and what you said or did wrong – use it to do something useful. Go for a walk, cook or bake, volunteer or start a blog ;). One of the greatest habits you can form is to get busy with life and find something you are passionate about (other than being a great lover ;)).

4. Draw on energy from your friends.
Eliminate the demon of neediness. Call your friends, organise to hang out, be super social and plan something fun. Sure some of us just want to be in an intimate relationship, but acknowledge just how amazing relationships with friends can be and stop focusing so much on needing to be with a guy. One of the best habits you can form is meeting and growing your friendships – in my opinion they are just as important in life.

5. Realise your self-worth and settle for nothing less.
Once you can achieve this everything falls into place. If you know what you want from someone and expect nothing less; then it bothers you less when they don’t come to the table. If you feel a guy should have called or texted by now and he doesn’t, well… it’s his loss. Instead of worrying about why he hasn’t contacted you, change your mind frame to think “that’s too bad for him.”

We women are capable of achieving some damn incredible things; but they are certainly not going to be achieved wasting time worrying about whether a guy is going to call, or his sudden lack of interest.

I’m a firm believer in forming habits. I’ve formed the habit of exercising regularly, eating well, asking for pay rises, working hard and living a positive care-free life. Transferring energy from worrying about men to more productive tasks is just another habit that we women need to learn.