ImageI can’t count how many times I used to lie awake at night next to my partner (now ex) wondering if there was something better out there for me. Not necessarily someone, but just a happier feeling. I would ask myself, if I left this person would I be better off?

As I lay silently sobbing in our bed I would often peer out the window starring at the stars and wishing them to endow me with the courage to make the right decision …. “Just leave or stay and be done with it…. Tell me which one I should choose?”

Eventually his behaviour became so intolerable I left. It took a lot of courage and support from my friends. But eventually I just had had enough, really what made me walk about in the end was minimal, but it was everything else that had built up.

If you are thinking of leaving someone but are uncertain or are scarred, the likelihood is, unless your partner miraculously changes who they are, you will eventually find the courage or sensibility to acknowledge this partnership is no longer right for you.

Perhaps it’s the fear of the unfamiliar that scares you, or the fear of being a lone. But the truth of the matter is that it’s a fear you should face.

Hopefully you will…. After I left I wondered about all the people that stay in unhappy relationships their entire lives. Apparently people do that?

It’s easier now to look back at the messy haze and see clearly that leaving was the best decision in my pursuit for happiness. Undoubtedly I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had just left sooner.

Whilst ending any relationships has its bumps, I can say that I am immensely happy with the decision I made, and I feel like love and opportunities have continued to present themselves to me in ways I have never imagined ever since.

I know a lot of my girlfriends have pondered the same question, the truth is, I personally would never tell them to leave someone they love, even if they don’t realise yet it’s not right for them.

So much of life is about timing; everyone needs to take their own journey to come to a decision as big as leaving someone.

So where am now nine months after leaving a long term relationship? Well it took six months to come out of the darkness of sleepless nights and not eating to truly find my flow. But after those six months I began to feel lighter, content and immensely happy. It was when I reached this point that someone appeared in my life. I found love when I was least searching for it and our relationship has continued to blossom and grow ever since.