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“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” – Buddha

Come now you know the answer to this?

Respect their decision, don’t contact your ex, in any circumstance if they ask you not to (Christmas and Birthdays are no exception. A death of a family member would be).

Alas, things are easier said than done. In reality, letting go of our past is incredibly difficult, regardless of whether or not it was your decision to end the relationship.

A girlfriend of mine was recently confronted with a message from her ex that asked her in fairly impolite terms to stop contacting him; essentially he told her he thought of her as dead, pretty harsh words for anyone to hear.

As she shared her thoughts, I recollected on my break up, which I had ended and in doing so asked my ex to stop contacting me.

The reason was that every time I received a message or call from him, whether it was nasty or nice… both caused days of insomnia, anxiety and loss of appetite.

To him I was just a cold stone wall that told him we were over and asked him to stop contacting me. Little did he know about the effect of his thoughtless barrage of messages.

The thing to remember is that just because the other person doesn’t want to talk to you, it doesn’t mean they have completely forgotten you or the past you shared. As nasty or as awful as they may seem, they just want to move on.

For me, I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be with my ex and there was no turning back. The decision to leave was right for my happiness, and in order to move on with my life, I needed him out.

Now this may cause you to think that by staying in contact with your ex, there may remain a small glimmer of hope that you will get back together…

I’m not ruling that out for some, but I could never get back together with someone, that didn’t respect me enough to listen to my requests.

Relationship breakdowns are often caused by a feeling of a loss of respect. If you do care about the person, than this is your opportunity to show them some respect.

If you desperately want to get back together, well…. your best option is to show them the respect they have asked for, and let them come to you… there is a chance that they may.

In saying this, try not to hold onto the hope that they will. Letting go and moving forward is a far healthier mindset to be in. Things will work out the way they are supposed to.

Importantly, in handling your breakup try and do it with grace – even if the other person fails to do so. In situations where my ex was being a complete prick I used to think “how do I let go of things not meant for me gracefully?”

My girlfriends response when I shared this quote with her “Buddha knows best.”